Narcissists are very toxic. They don’t argue to resolve conflict, but to make it worse. They feed on the drama and chaos created by a victim’s reaction to their abuse. The victim’s confusion and pain gives the narcissist even more power. The key is to not react — to starve them of that energy.
Caveat
When dealing with toxic relationships, it is essential to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all strategy. Each situation is unique and requires a different approach. However, the following article provides a valuable technique that can be used in many cases. This technique not only deals with toxicity, but can potentially convert a toxic person for the better.
Understanding Toxicity
If you have ever been the victim of a toxic person, you know how hard it can be to deal with their constant negativity, manipulation, and lack of effort.
You might feel like you can’t escape their emotional manipulation and that their apathy always finds a way to get under your skin.
Toxic relationships can really be detrimental to your mental health. Toxic people don’t just make you unhappy, but they also make you question your own sanity. If you find that you’re in a relationship with someone toxic, it is vital to stop and recognise the impact of their actions on your well-being.
The best way to deal with toxic people is to remove them from your life. If that is not possible, you should limit your exposure to them. And if you can’t even do that, you must find ways to protect yourself from their toxicity.
The survival of toxic people depends on your reactions to their manipulative behaviour towards you. They need you to be miserable, and in pain, to confuse and take advantage of you. A toxic partner could use many tactics to provoke an emotional response, and then feed on the drama
Toxic people are drawn to those who react more strongly, so you must remove your feelings from the situation and only offer a calm response. This will show them that they cannot bother you with their sinister tactics.
It is important to remember that if they can’t get you to react — they have no power over you.
Are you the perpetrator or victim?
A common tactic used by toxic people is to do or say things that would trigger an uncomfortable reaction from you. The moment you show your reaction, they would turn the whole situation around, and accuse you of aggression. Narcissists are so good at this tactic that some victims go through their whole life, questioning whether they are the victim or the perpetrator.
Recognising that you are the victim in an abusive relationship, is essential for getting out of it. You are not to blame for the abuse, no matter what the perpetrator says. This realisation can help you to start taking steps to protect yourself, and get away from the abuser.
All is not lost
It can be challenging to convert a toxic person, but it is not impossible.
Toxic people are successful in their manipulation only if you allow them to be. If you could control your reactions to their provocation, you may stand a chance against them. You could block their attacks and force them to not take you for granted.
Game Plan
Toxic people need your confusion, and misery to be able to feed on you. You can take control back from them by starving them of your attention, and energy. By doing this, you deprive them of their power over you, and they will eventually wither away.
Toxic people are also skilled at deflecting blame and derailing conversations. They blame you, for your reaction to their provocation. They never accept responsibility for their remarks or actions; instead, they use guarded language, and shift the blame onto their victims.
To control a toxic relationship, you must control your reactions. To control your reactions, you must first gain control over your emotions and inner thoughts. This is not easy to do, but it must be done. It would help if you saw toxic attacks as a direct threat to your survival; then, it becomes much easier to put up walls and protect yourself.
No matter what they say or do, don’t take it personally. Their words and actions are not about you. And no matter how badly they treat you, never ask them why. The moment you accuse them of wrongdoing, they’ll turn it back on you and make you the guilty party.
Never engage toxic people. Disengage from the situation and walk away. Do not give them the satisfaction of getting under your skin, no matter how hard they try to bait you. Just act like nothing is happening and pretend you don’t care. Be completely nonchalant.
Conclusion
It is essential to recognise that your happiness, and sanity, are more important than any relationship.
Remember to stand in the sunshine of your self-worth; it will burn down and destroy energy vampires. Only the darkness of your low self-esteem allows toxic people to come into your life, and feed on your misery.
You have the right to live as you please, and surround yourself with people who make you happy.
Take back control of your well-being, happiness, and life.
Comments